Closed;

[fartbunnies]

What: Sakamoto brings an unusual guest to one of his events.
Where: Gintama-verse, Edo, a fancy banquet hall
When: When these two are on standby.
Who: Tatsuma Sakamoto (alcohololic) and Katsura Kotarou (keepcalmandbomb)

Comments

[kaihentai]

Early for a night out, yeah!

Where d'you wanna go? And your make-up looks pretty.

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ This is where the ass-kissing is getting a little superficial, so Zurako gives him an indignant huff, but remains upbeat. ]

It merely accents the prettiness that is my own. Do not underestimate a woman's natural face.

Do you think Laputa is open this time of year?

[kaihentai]

Hm? Oh, I know.

[Sakamoto is surprised, and it shows in his eyes as they widen, now unbarred by gross disgusting and horrible shades.]

You've always had a nice face, and sure! It's nice, but I've always preferred... Well, just you.

Nothing physical or anything. Like, you've always been nice. A bit kooky, but nice. Haha. Not like I'm one to talk.

and then it got gayer

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ And that's where Zurako gives him a tiny, conspicuous smile. ]

All the more reason to say I'm pretty, isn't it?

[ it's not the makeup, man, it's the girl! ..er. Crossdresser. Whatever. ]

It's not kooky, it's Katsura.

and then even gayer

[kaihentai]

Hm? But you are pretty.

[The words are spoken as if this knowledge is a matter-of-fact.]

it's like a hyperbola where the zero line is gayness

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ It sure is, but Zurako will still give him a triumphant, smug little smile as she takes a hold of his arm with hers. ]

Thank you. You look rather sharp today yourself. I've had my doubts about it being possible, yet here we are.

[kaihentai]

Sharp?

[Sakamoto immediately looks down at his hands.]

Oh no. Well, I did forget to trim my fingernails...

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ Zurako gives him a blank look and smacks him over the head, while calmly explaining, ]

It's a metaphor, a metaphor.

[kaihentai]

M-manicure? Oh, I haven't ever gotten one. I guess that's why my nails are so sharp!

[Smacking him only impairs his hearing further. It must be hard to hear under that curly perm.]

[keepcalmandbomb]

I changed my mind. I would like to receive payment for keeping you company tonight.

[ Clearly, this was the reason why women only agreed to court him for money. Katsura had a rather high tolerance for bullshit, but in this case, he felt like the timing was completely embarrassing. He just wanted to give a compliment, was it that much to ask? Huh? Huh? ]

[kaihentai]

Huh?

[Sakamoto blinks, for a moment, and sheepishly runs a nervous hand through his hair.]

Oh! But you were having so much fun tonight...

[Wasn't that payment enough? And besides, they were friends, right? So... This was just a favor. Still, he wasn't an unreasonable person. Katsura had done him a service and allowed him to do better business this even, so... A little payment wouldn't be out of the question.

He can't take compliments because he isn't used to them. It's better, sometimes, to just assume that things that sound like them aren't real, or aren't there. That's less hurtful than hoping and having those hopes dashed.]

Sure.

[He tucks his hands into his pockets.]

How much do you want?

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ The way he just rolls with it is both frustrating and sad. Is he really that used to being walked all over? Katsura wonders if he's just too used to dealing with Gintoki, who always protests everything he says, especially if it has to do with money. ]

[ Speaking of which, though, one should never say no to free money, even if it ruins the initial plan. ]

How much do you think I'm worth?

[ Zurako flips her hair and purses her lips, staring him dead in the eye with that overly serious expression. ]

[kaihentai]

I don't know.

People, to me, are too valuable to put a price on. I mean, for someone as valuable as you, I probably would never have enough.

[He is pretty sincere about that... Maybe.]

Ahaha.

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ Ow, a punch right in the feels. For a moment, he's ready to forget all those times Sakamoto swindled him out of something in their youth. Instead, he folds his arms and nods smugly. ]

Exactly. I want you to let that sink in real well; you couldn't afford me.

[ uh Zurako who died and made you the queen of courtesans? ]

[ but then there's an encouraging smile ]

And yet, here I am. Do you understand what this means?

[kaihentai]

[He raises a brow at that. Okay, K*ty P*rry.

"That you're being an asshole?"

But he keeps his mouth shut. Sakamoto is a diplomat, after all.]

I'm not sure!

[And here, he opens his palms and holds his hands up, moving his fingers emphatically. Jazz hands, jazz hands!]

Surprise me!

[keepcalmandbomb]

It means I'm here because I want to be.

[ pause ]

And then you have to go and ruin my moment!

[ And she swats away at his perm with her fan. The hits are harder than it may sound. ]

I was trying to compliment you, bastard! Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to get it shot down? Should I use dynamite to clean your ears, huh?